Though it may be challenging to accept, it actually takes more than love and commitment to attain a fulfilling and successful intimate relationship!

If falling in love was all it took to be happy with another, we would all be living "happily ever after".

In reality, our relationships are the safe places in which we "act out our stuff".
We look to our relationships to provide what we are missing within ourselves.
We expect/need the other person to make us feel loved and respected.
This is an outdated model based on fear and need and one that sets us up for disappointment and hurt.
We cannot receive anything from our relationships that we do not bring.

As you read the following carefully, notice where you experience a personal response.

I long for more connection and intimacy in my relationships.

        I desire more in-depth sharing.

        I feel distant from the people who matter most to me.

        I want to relate better with my family, friends, and
        co-workers.

        I long for more passion in my romantic relationship.

I am looking for the perfect partner.

        I want to know what love is.

        I have had relationships, but nothing that feels "right"

        I am not sure there is anyone out there for me.

I left a relationship or have been left.

        Where do I go from here?

        I would like to move on, but my hurt and anger get in
        the way.

        I want to love again, but I am afraid of getting hurt.